The OCD Christian

By: Mikey Pesqueda

One of the most difficult things to write about is the stuff that you personally deal with. I don’t think there will be a topic that hits me deeper than talking about how OCD has affected my life. Many people who think of OCD think of a well-organized person who is just particular about where stuff should go. While this is sometimes the case, for some people OCD is a lot more difficult than that. ​

​There are cases of OCD where people have a crippling fear because they didn’t turn off the light switch in the “right” way or touch a faucet “enough” times. Many people will not understand what it is like to stand in a bathroom for 30 minutes washing your hands until they are raw only because you don’t feel like you got them clean enough. 
 
I’ve struggled with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder since I was in the 7th grade. There were many days where my parents were called to pick me up from school because of the overwhelming anxiety that came with OCD. You might not understand how that relates to OCD but think about it this way. To simplify it, OCD is practically about wanting to do things in the perfect way all the time. Doesn’t sound so bad, does it? But how often are you 100% in control of what you think or do? Would you be willing to be your bet your life on how you washed your hands? The stakes are never that high but to someone with OCD it feels like it. We live in an broken world and we are very broken people. But it becomes more evident how broken we are when you try to do everything perfectly. 
 
I write this not because I want to but because I feel like I need to. As a child and even an adult, there were times in my life that it felt like no one ever understood what I was going through. It wasn’t until I was 25 until I figured out what OCD even was and how it could become so crippling. I write this to the other Christians who struggle with OCD in a similar way to remind you of the hope there is in Christ. As a Christian and now as a pastor I have found great comfort in the work of Christ. For years I wrestled with wanting to do the perfect thing and have the perfect thoughts but perfection has always eluded me. Perfection eludes me but it did not elude Jesus. He was the only perfect one who did and thought everything 100% perfectly. While you may feel as though you need to live up to a perfect standard, know that only Jesus can do that. While you may feel as though you need to have perfect thoughts, know that only Jesus had perfect thoughts. Find comfort in knowing that your Savior lived the perfect life that you could never live so that you could have peace. There is peace for you brother or sister. Peace in Christ’s perfection. No this does not free us up to sin but it frees us up to release the pressure that you feel. The pressure that you didn’t turn off that light in the right way. You’re not perfect, Jesus is perfect! The pressure that you didn’t get your hands clean enough. Jesus has made you clean enough! 
 
So if you struggle with OCD. Have faith Christian! It may feel like your friends and family don’t understand what you are going through at times, and they truly may not. But you have a Savior who fully understands what you are going through and is there with you, even when you are stuck turning off a light switch.